Where would I even start with explaining the effects of Covid-19?! Finishing my final year of university with Covid-19 has been one of the hardest, and most upsetting times of my educational life. The thought that I have had to leave my Plymouth home for lockdown and could possibly never move back in with my friends again, as well as being unable to see any of my classmates, or work in the studio, or have a degree show or graduation has essentially ruined the uni experience which is not something you get to do often in life. I will never get these last months back. For me, it feels like it's all over too soon, which has made it really hard to find the motivation to finish the work for it. The new rules they have put in place, in my opinion, are not good enough for an art degree, however, I do understand there is little the teachers and uni can really do. For most people, creating artworks for a degree is impossible digitally and without the facilities available in uni. I am actually one of the lucky ones considering my work is two dimensional and already planned out, however, for those who were creating 3D work and can no longer do so it must be really tough. The virus has impacted us all in different ways.
Although forced to move to my family home due to lack of space in my university accommodation to finish my paintings (in which they only gave us 1 and a half days to clear the studio which is frankly insane, they should have given us more warning), I was actually able to achieve a good set up and finish my second painting within good time. I did, however, feel like an empty robot painting with the depressing knowledge that the work I'm creating will never be seen in a physical degree show. I kind of felt like there was no point to my work anymore, especially as we first cancelled our online degree show as a year group, and then the university cancelled their overall website page for our artworks, leaving us with only an Instagram page from the uni to post our work. This is not good enough, they could have done so much more for us, we give them 9 grand a year and only get an Instagram page to display our work, something that anyone could have made. All the announcements of cancellations and change in plans really impacted my motivation each time. I feel like we are getting so little out of our three years of hard work, with many of us in the class waiting until this final project/year to create our best work.
Even though life feels completely strange right now, and still unreal, I am continuing to make work to the best extent I can without letting my mental health slip. I have therefore been working at a slower pace than normal, refraining from forcing myself to work so as to not affect my mental state. It has been a verrrryyyy long, tedious journey finishing this last project but seeing it come to a close finally is relieving, although very underwhelming given the circumstances. I do believe this project (Morbid Fascination) has enabled me to create some of my best work yet, however, the fact that the teachers don't view our entire sketchbook (meaning lots of work almost goes to waste), or have a physical audience view our work is more a relief to be over than excitement. However this is only a small part of our lives even though it doesn't seem like that, and hopefully, I will be able to find my feet again after feeling like I have been thrown in the deep end with little, limited support. Hopefully, this work will take me somewhere actually exciting. As I expect everyone feels right now: I can't f***ing wait till Covid-19 is over.
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